There have been recent reports that part of the demise of Gwyneth Paltrow’s marriage to Chris Martin can be attributed to the fact that they engaged in an open marriage. No one may ever really know for sure but they seem to be getting a lot of heat about both of their alleged infidelities. But if the cheating was in fact not cheating then what is the issue? Many people will argue that open marriages are bad for relationships and for the family. That isn’t necessarily true though. I’ve found that many couples engaged in non-monogamy actually communicate better than their monogamous cohorts because they have to negotiate every detail of their relationship, from what behaviors are ok to engage in to who is an appropriate sex partner. Kids may not understand the model but it doesn’t mean it has to be detrimental to them. Some couples either handle their trysts very discreetly or if they have longer-term partners, find a way to integrate both primary and secondary partners into their family system.